Better Political Conversations Are Possible, If We Know How
Respectful dialogue is vanishing from American political life. There is, arguably, no more urgent question for American society today than how we can listen and talk with each other constructively, with less hostility and contempt. I graduated from Yale College over 50 years ago, at a time when American society was also bitterly divided by…
Read MoreLiberal vs. Conservative: Can We Understand Each Other?
“The two parties which divide the state, the party of Conservatism and that of Innovation, are very old, and have disputed the possession of the world ever since it was made… The war rages not only in battlefields, in national councils, and ecclesiastical synods, but agitates every man’s bosom with opposing advantages every hour. …….and…
Read MoreThe Toxic Emotions Underlying Our Political Divide
A major theme of this blog is the importance of emotions in understanding our political beliefs. Although we may want to believe otherwise, we are not liberal or conservative in our head, but in our gut. When asked why we are liberal or conservative, we will give our reasons. We are likely to justify our…
Read MoreKids, Screens and Play
Driving home with our year-old grandson from New York’s Catskill Mountains last weekend, my wife and I recalled previous summer car rides, singing songs with our kids when they were young. We liked to sing Motown, the Beatles, and a country classic our daughter later recalled as “the hobo song” (“King of the Road”). In…
Read MoreShould Parents Punish Their Children?
For many parents, it seems almost instinctive to respond to a child’s uncooperative behavior by imposing (or threatening) a consequence. In recent sessions, parents have asked, “My twelve year-old daughter is late for school every morning. What consequence should I impose to get her to be ready on time?” or “She speaks to me rudely.…
Read More15 Rules to Foster Good Behavior in Children
In my last post, I presented general principles of good behavior in young children. Today, I would like to follow up with specific recommendations – 15 rules that parents can use to help children learn to behave well (most of the time). 1) Play (and work) with them often. This is the best way to…
Read MoreHow to Have a Well-Behaved Child, Part 1
I believe that children should be well behaved. Most parents, of course, want more for their children than just good behavior. We want them to become caring and responsible adults. Still, more often than not, children who are cooperative and respect adult authority are also happy and confident children. They are able to bounce back…
Read MoreWhy My Father Didn't Need Parenting Books
My father was a warm and generous man. His passing, twenty years ago at age 85, remains a profound loss. As a boy, I looked up to him with admiration, even awe. When I was a teenager, we often argued. (It was the sixties. I believed that he was too cautious in his support for…
Read MoreHow to Have Better Conversations With Your Children, Part 2
Young children are wide-eyed in their curiosity about the lives of their parents. For many years, I have advised parents to talk with their children about experiences in their own lives, especially when children are feeling worried, disappointed or sad. Personal stories are helpful, for example, when children are anxious about their first day at…
Read MoreThe Most Important Ten Minutes of A Child’s Day
In previous posts, I have discussed the importance of positive emotions in child development and offered some suggestions for how we can strengthen positive feelings in our children’s lives – how we can engage children’s interests, nurture a spirit of kindness and generosity, support their idealism, and share feelings of pride. Positive emotions – especially,…
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